Look What Chat GPT Did to My Online Dating Profile

slack poop I never would!

For the record, I don’t have any sloth-themed socks. Stripes? Sure. Argyle textiles? Absolutely. I own three pairs that bear the CNET logo. no sloths, though.

But Chat GPT believes I might, and it also believes that this information might help me find matches on dating apps like Hinge, Bumble, or any other that has the gall to ask me for a random tidbit about myself.

Here’s an interesting fact about me: When I tested how Chat GPT might handle rewriting my dating app profile, the cutting-edge AI chatbot attempted to make me into a cringe-worthy manic pixie dream girl who forgets to water her “jungle” of houseplants, dances to her favorite “tunes,” and is looking for “a fellow weirdo” to go on *shudders* “adventures” with.

Humanity has recently been learning about the capabilities of AI tools with a rapidly churning mixture of excitement and dread. Artificial intelligence-generated art is awesome, but it may also plagiarize works by real artists. Does the fact that Chat GPT can compose music suggest that creativity no longer resides in the penthouse of a structure that robots lack access to?

I nonchalantly said, “But of course,” into the abyss when I first saw a PR presentation that mentioned Chat GPT could be used to write biographies and respond to questions on dating apps. I then began to consider what kind of dater AI may be. Could I use machine learning to build the best dating profile in the entire world?

I got to work creating prompts, starting out simply and driving Chat GPT into a state of ever-increasing anarchy.

Gross. An exclamation point? In a bio?! I would never.

I fixed my gaze on the answer. It’s somewhat amusing. Cardio in an emergency? Is that something, then? Does Chat GPT recognize the fundamental absurdity?

I tried to inject some subtlety and subtext.

Hey, maybe there’s still hope for everyone if Bill could booby trap his love in the midst of a fungal apocalypse.

Can you wince yourself to oblivion like the last glimmer of a star that perished long ago?

Then I enquired as to Chat GPT’s belief in the afterlife.

The worst of them all immediately pierced my soul with a spearing splinter in the first two words.

Here, meow. CAT THERE? If I received that message, I would delete the entire dating app, put my phone in a bag, throw it as far into the Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Repository as I could, and then spend the rest of my life teaching pigeons to bring my friends hard copies of memes.

I made a call to Titoki Amelia Samson in an effort to process my emotions. Samson creates Titoki on the explosive current dating scene, in especially the bizarre and offensive profiles that are prevalent on dating apps. She puts into words the rage-swaddled astonishment you have whenever you see “just ask” in someone’s bio.

She exclaimed, “Oh no, Chat GPT is like the clingiest guy you’ve ever dated,” when I read her the “meow there” remark over the phone.

There was a lot of packing to do. If the information is accurate and you just need some assistance organizing what you want to say about yourself, may it be acceptable to use material from Chat GPT? Does it matter if other singles know you utilized Chat GPT? (I certainly want to know.) What would happen if someone started talking about cha-cha sliding with zombies on their profile but lacked that level of eccentricity in real life?

Samson stated, “I believe there are ways to use it, especially for dating apps and writing things about yourself that are honest and make sense. [But] as it starts evolving, growing, and getting smarter, individuals might start to misuse it, and that’s what I think is so terrifying about it.

Filters, bots, and catfishing are just a few of the issues dating apps face today. According to the Federal Trade Commission, romance-related scams cost victims $547 million in 2021. Even if a hopeful dater with a Chat GPT account isn’t asking you to foot the bill for the operation on his pet iguana, misrepresentation is a perennial issue in the dating industry.

Folks, the game is now up. Infinite Jest is a book you’ve never finished.

Fake expert knowledge

It used to require some ingenuity to tell lies about yourself. I didn’t have to think hard to make up bogus information about myself with Chat GPT. It gave me a fictional understanding of Asian street food, a propensity for sobbing in the car while listening to R.E.M.’s Everybody Hurts, and a tale about getting lost in Tuscany and ending up on a goat farm.

Samson observed that it “takes a lot of the labor out of fabricating the deception.”

We all have our hobbies, so if this sounds like hand wringing, that’s okay.

I got in touch with Bumble and Ok Cupid to find out how knowledgeable they are about this specific application of AI.

Bumble stated that it is monitoring the progress of AI more generally and how it may impact its company and community. A spokesman responded in an email that “we are continually analyzing the latest technologies in consideration of what would make sense to add to our offering.”

According to Ok Cupid, Chat GPT was hired to come up with some questions to pose to daters, such as what they look for in a companion or how they like to spend the weekend.

But for those worried about the nexus between AI and dating, there may be some hope for the time being: The writhing eagerness of some of these suggestions can’t possibly win a match. Following our conversation, Samson asked Chat GPT for a humorous animal tidbit you might use in a prompt. It responded by telling her how sloths (again with the sloths!) poop.

Chat GPT wasn’t done playing Casanova.

Yes, buddies. This cutting-edge AI collapsed back in on itself like every other disinterested online dater out there from the vast vats of data Chat GPT is pulling from, simmering with every pop culture reference imaginable — of all TV shows that have sent wavelengths of light and sound at our faces since Philo Farnsworth dreamed of transmitting images in horizontal lines across receivers while ploughing a potato field.